at tagaytay
Monday, August 22, 2005
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
* matters
+++
august. wow. time flies. most of my frends now are either working, looking for jobs, or preparing for their PRELIMS. i mis school. ~sigh~. i gues wer all gettin a lil bit older each day huh.
+++
anyway. this past May ive decided dat ill b goin to Hong Kong come September 2nd wk to see the opening of disneyland. and ofcorz to see sum1. a frend rily close to my hart. but things changed. ive changed my mind. drastic? no. i was considering that idea evn b4. firstly im under budget. spending too much lately. imajin i spent 2k for groceries. and lots and lots on personal stuf. and food ofcorz.
+++
there are so many things goin in my head ryt now. i dunno which i shud prioritize. money matters. spent more than 10k this past week. to think dat i get less than 10k per pay day. (evry 2 wks). i curse mall sales for this. ahaha. not to mention my big appetite. wel i deserv gettin rewards aftr my undying devotion (ehw!) to work. ~wink~.
+++
wen i think of things dat i want to do or buy. wow. theres this unending list. start from beauty enhancements. body treatments. accessories. overseas & domestic travel. gimiks. sports. recreational activities. and lots lots more. so much 4 bein ambitious. ahaha.
+++
health matters. for the past couple of saturdays. iv bin playing badmnton. career!. =). twas rily fun. i rmembr wen i was youngr. i used to play tenis w/ my cousins in t.sora. they live just in front of the tenis cort so. lucky kids. i wish i can go bak to dose days wen i was stil playing around. running free. going to school. receiving allowance. =). its rily hard bein an adult. ~sigh~.
+++
---MORE SERIOUS MODE---
+++
heart matters. lately. iv bin thinking hard of wat wil hapen to me in d future. i knw am juz 20. and i stil hav a long way to go. but the idea that i hav no stable rlatioship currently scares me. i knw. yeah i knw. i mayb anticipating d idea of gettin married big tym. but theres this sumthin
in me. wanting 2 b wanted. wanting 2 b taken cared of. wanting 2 b loved.
+++
i rcall d old stuf my frends and i used to talk bwt. if i had two choices. a guy i love. or. a guy who loves me. hu wud i pick?
+++
this is grave hard. i dont knw w/c way id b happier. i can go w/ my feelings. or. i can go with the other guy's feelings. both ways i risk gettin hurt. blaming myself 4 a probable wrong dcsion. bein left behind. and losing.
+++
a frend told me. its not about winning or losing. coz loving isnt a game. its our dcsions dat mke us winers. hapi or sad. knwing dat u mde d RIGHT dcsion mkes u a victor. satisfaction. pride. dignity.
+++
i dont knw if i can let go of d greatest love ihave had. i dont knw if i can open a door for another. i dont knw if i can. uncertainty rules over me. one foot on the ground. one on the grave. exagg?. can be. but sticking to my interpretation on this. ive got no clue.
+++
another frend told me to pray. i want to. bliv me i do. but am scared. so im taking my tym. i want 2 b sure of wat am gona tel Him once i start talking 2 Him agen. i want 2 b clear w/ d things am gona spill out. i want 2 b neutral in seeing 2 ways. i hope i can do this as how i want it 2 b done. things dont always happen my way. but i hope this one does.
+++
august. wow. time flies. most of my frends now are either working, looking for jobs, or preparing for their PRELIMS. i mis school. ~sigh~. i gues wer all gettin a lil bit older each day huh.
+++
anyway. this past May ive decided dat ill b goin to Hong Kong come September 2nd wk to see the opening of disneyland. and ofcorz to see sum1. a frend rily close to my hart. but things changed. ive changed my mind. drastic? no. i was considering that idea evn b4. firstly im under budget. spending too much lately. imajin i spent 2k for groceries. and lots and lots on personal stuf. and food ofcorz.
+++
there are so many things goin in my head ryt now. i dunno which i shud prioritize. money matters. spent more than 10k this past week. to think dat i get less than 10k per pay day. (evry 2 wks). i curse mall sales for this. ahaha. not to mention my big appetite. wel i deserv gettin rewards aftr my undying devotion (ehw!) to work. ~wink~.
+++
wen i think of things dat i want to do or buy. wow. theres this unending list. start from beauty enhancements. body treatments. accessories. overseas & domestic travel. gimiks. sports. recreational activities. and lots lots more. so much 4 bein ambitious. ahaha.
+++
health matters. for the past couple of saturdays. iv bin playing badmnton. career!. =). twas rily fun. i rmembr wen i was youngr. i used to play tenis w/ my cousins in t.sora. they live just in front of the tenis cort so. lucky kids. i wish i can go bak to dose days wen i was stil playing around. running free. going to school. receiving allowance. =). its rily hard bein an adult. ~sigh~.
+++
---MORE SERIOUS MODE---
+++
heart matters. lately. iv bin thinking hard of wat wil hapen to me in d future. i knw am juz 20. and i stil hav a long way to go. but the idea that i hav no stable rlatioship currently scares me. i knw. yeah i knw. i mayb anticipating d idea of gettin married big tym. but theres this sumthin
in me. wanting 2 b wanted. wanting 2 b taken cared of. wanting 2 b loved.
+++
i rcall d old stuf my frends and i used to talk bwt. if i had two choices. a guy i love. or. a guy who loves me. hu wud i pick?
+++
this is grave hard. i dont knw w/c way id b happier. i can go w/ my feelings. or. i can go with the other guy's feelings. both ways i risk gettin hurt. blaming myself 4 a probable wrong dcsion. bein left behind. and losing.
+++
a frend told me. its not about winning or losing. coz loving isnt a game. its our dcsions dat mke us winers. hapi or sad. knwing dat u mde d RIGHT dcsion mkes u a victor. satisfaction. pride. dignity.
+++
i dont knw if i can let go of d greatest love i
+++
another frend told me to pray. i want to. bliv me i do. but am scared. so im taking my tym. i want 2 b sure of wat am gona tel Him once i start talking 2 Him agen. i want 2 b clear w/ d things am gona spill out. i want 2 b neutral in seeing 2 ways. i hope i can do this as how i want it 2 b done. things dont always happen my way. but i hope this one does.
+++
Monday, July 25, 2005
If Only
sometimes when you thought you are in control of
everything, something very unexpected and uncontrollable
happens. just when you thought you had it, you actually do
not. even if you ask for it, it will never be given. once a
decision is made, you got no choice.
everything, something very unexpected and uncontrollable
happens. just when you thought you had it, you actually do
not. even if you ask for it, it will never be given. once a
decision is made, you got no choice.
i do not know why choices are made. sounds weird but
really. why can't we just take it as how it is? why always
arrive at something? well some say it is for the "good".
good? for whom?
Today, today I bet my life
You have no idea
What I feel inside
Don't be afraid to let it show
For you'll never know
If you let it hide
I love you
You love me
Take this gift and don't ask why
Cause if you will let me
I'll take what scares you
Hold it deep inside
And if you ask me why I'm with you
And why I'll never leave
Love will show you everything
One day
When youth is just a memory
I know you'll be standing right next to me
I love you
You love me
Take this gift and don't ask why
Cause if you will let me
I'll take what scares you
Hold it deep inside
And if you ask me why I'm with you
And why I'll never leave
My love will show you everything
My love will show you everything
My love will show you everything
Our love will show us everything
Saturday, July 23, 2005
good lord! (arkansas accent)
wow.. a long weekend.. thanks sona.. =).. oh wel.. ive bin rily busy last week.. i felt so harrassed.. ive had 2 OTs.. yuck.. i need to unwind this weekend.. luckily my gimik later is with my best buddies.. yey!.. dork power.. ahaha.. well meet at my frends place and there well hav dinner.. and we hav no idea yet wat to do after.. probably like hs days.. timog.. yeah yeah.. its the closest place man!.. but well see.. anyways.. its 640am on a saturday and here i am blogging.. ahaha.. nice tym to blog eih!? i woke up at 545.. huuwaatt!?.. this is wrong.. i think am getting old.. argh..
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Stay [cueshe]
I believe
we shouldnt let the moment pass us by
life’s too short
we shouldnt wait for the water to run dry
think about it
cause we only have one shot at destiny
all im asking
could it possibly be you and me?
So if you’d still go, i’ll understand
would you give me something just to hold on to?
and if you’ll stay, ill hold your hand
cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you
Time has come
for us to go our separate ways
God forbid
But my mind is going crazy today
i feel so cold
feel so numb
im having nightmares but im awake
Help me lord
Fight this loneliness
Take this pain away
So if you’d still go, i’ll understand
would you give me something just to hold on to?
and if you’ll stay, ill hold your hand
cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you
Now that you’re gone, im all alone
im still hoping that you would come back home
dont care how long, but im willing to wait
Cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you
we shouldnt let the moment pass us by
life’s too short
we shouldnt wait for the water to run dry
think about it
cause we only have one shot at destiny
all im asking
could it possibly be you and me?
So if you’d still go, i’ll understand
would you give me something just to hold on to?
and if you’ll stay, ill hold your hand
cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you
Time has come
for us to go our separate ways
God forbid
But my mind is going crazy today
i feel so cold
feel so numb
im having nightmares but im awake
Help me lord
Fight this loneliness
Take this pain away
So if you’d still go, i’ll understand
would you give me something just to hold on to?
and if you’ll stay, ill hold your hand
cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you
Now that you’re gone, im all alone
im still hoping that you would come back home
dont care how long, but im willing to wait
Cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you
Thursday, July 07, 2005
this week and the week that was
puro na lang alis... may it be project gimik... team dinner... batchmates nyt... lhat na! am too tired to recall everything nor even think of wer i was on those days... bwahaha...
Thursday, June 23, 2005
elevator fright!
its my mom's birthday today so after work i told her to meet me at the mall.. my plan actually was to buy her something but since i got off from work late i did not have enough time to think about what id buy.. so instead we had dinner together with my niece.. (and with abi ewan ko ba bakit nasama to eh wahaha).. and afterwardsi bought a new pair of eyeglasses.. with higher grades.. argh!.. then
we went off to buy something for my niece at the basement while waiting for the glasses to be done.. so we rode the elevator going down.. and shockingly!!!!!! it stopped in between two floors.. damn!.. initially i was not really scared.. but this girl in the elevator is scared.. really scared.. she said she couldnt even breathe.. then the elevator operator (a woman) told her to stop coz she might panic too.. so the girl shut her mouth for sometime but still bragged on her feeling dizzy and stuff.. by then i was already feeling my heavy chest.. i couldnt breathe.. i was also really scared.. although ofcourse i tried very hard thinking that its all gonna be good.. and so the operator continuously was switching the two small red buttons of the elevator and little by little we moved.. so after lots of flicks she tried to open the door.. then voila!.. its cement we saw.. OMG!.. if only i can break down that time.. my knees felt weak.. argh.. ive never had those deep breathes in a very long time.. so i was telling the operator that we need a little more movement so we can just even see the door well to have hope at least and she listened.. so after sometime when she opened the door again we saw the door.. then i felt a little more secured inside.. then she tried again to move the elevator to fit the other door so we can all go out.. but when she opened the door.. uh-oh!.. we were going the wrong way.. we were actually going for the cement again.. sigh.. then she started using her celfon to contact who ever.. but heller!? theres no signal in the elevator.. my right hand then was holding my cel.. i was trying to call someone but yeah yeah theres no signal so my hand was shaking already.. i lost hope.. i was telling myself that if wed be stuck in there for the whole night i dunno.. i rily dunno wats gona happen to me.. but we heard a sound.. then the door opened.. OMG!!!.. were safe!!!.. and am alive!!! woohoo!
we went off to buy something for my niece at the basement while waiting for the glasses to be done.. so we rode the elevator going down.. and shockingly!!!!!! it stopped in between two floors.. damn!.. initially i was not really scared.. but this girl in the elevator is scared.. really scared.. she said she couldnt even breathe.. then the elevator operator (a woman) told her to stop coz she might panic too.. so the girl shut her mouth for sometime but still bragged on her feeling dizzy and stuff.. by then i was already feeling my heavy chest.. i couldnt breathe.. i was also really scared.. although ofcourse i tried very hard thinking that its all gonna be good.. and so the operator continuously was switching the two small red buttons of the elevator and little by little we moved.. so after lots of flicks she tried to open the door.. then voila!.. its cement we saw.. OMG!.. if only i can break down that time.. my knees felt weak.. argh.. ive never had those deep breathes in a very long time.. so i was telling the operator that we need a little more movement so we can just even see the door well to have hope at least and she listened.. so after sometime when she opened the door again we saw the door.. then i felt a little more secured inside.. then she tried again to move the elevator to fit the other door so we can all go out.. but when she opened the door.. uh-oh!.. we were going the wrong way.. we were actually going for the cement again.. sigh.. then she started using her celfon to contact who ever.. but heller!? theres no signal in the elevator.. my right hand then was holding my cel.. i was trying to call someone but yeah yeah theres no signal so my hand was shaking already.. i lost hope.. i was telling myself that if wed be stuck in there for the whole night i dunno.. i rily dunno wats gona happen to me.. but we heard a sound.. then the door opened.. OMG!!!.. were safe!!!.. and am alive!!! woohoo!
i was the first person to get out of that sick elevator.. and while going out i shouted.. "di na ko sasakay ng elevator dito kahit kailan".. its so unsafe.. considering it is a mall.. the elevators do not have any means of reaching people outside once its stuck.. even jerry's elevator at home has a phone connection to their guard.. and what!?.. heres a mall.. yeah with elevator.. but wat?!.. tsk tsk.. useless..
anyways.. tonight is my second night eating heavy dinner.. yeah talk about bloated.. check!.. haha.. as long as am happy.. am never gona b insecure.. *wishing i think like this always*.. byeeeee...
